Charmin Ultra Soft

Dear Charmin,

Knowing that I was running low on your ultra soft goodness, I decided to stop by the local Thriftway and pick some up on my way home from working out. After locating the toilet paper isle, I found the 12 pack of Charmin Ultra Soft big rolls that I was looking for and tried to stuff it into my red handcart. To my dismay, I found that in all of your infinite softness, you decided to package the 12 pack in a 3x4 fashion, rather than go with a 2 deep 2x3. In other words, your 12 pack of big rolls doesn't fit in a shopping basket.

After walking up and down a few isles I remembered why I never shop at the Stadium Thriftway. They never have anything I need, except for the awkwardly shaped package of Charmin Ultra Soft that was already under my arm.

Giving up on finding anything else that I needed, I decided that looking like that guy that is on an emergency toilet paper run wasn't so bad, and I went to check out. While paying, I quickly realized that the cashier was making no attempt whatsoever to put the toilet paper in a bag. Terrific... this now meant that I had to walk out of the store with nothing but my large, awkwardly shaped package of Charmin Ultra Soft that didn't fit in a basket, or a bag.

Let me just say that walking out of a store with, and only with, a large package of toilet paper is pretty damn awkward and embarrassing. There are probably other things that are much more embarrassing to purchase at the supermarket, but at least they fit in a freaking bag.

Seriously Charmin, is there any reason why you decided on the 3x4 rather than a 2 deep 2x3? In large quantities they would stack the same, wouldn't they? Please figure this out or I may be forced to discontinue my usage of your amazing toilet paper to avoid these embarrassing situations in the future.

Sincerely,

-dunkie